There is something seriously wrong in being obsessed with body
issues these days. And this is not about mainstream media trying to impose
unreal body images to young women, it's about everyday women being obsessed
with other women in real life.
How many times have you heard someone or even
caught yourself saying: ''You look too tired/You look too thin/ are you
all right?'' It's acceptable to show respect to obesity, even though obesity can
be serious health problem. Have we ever wondered why is that so?
We constantly,
subconsciously or consciously approve or disapprove someone's body image. We are
programmed to evaluate people around us in our own criteria. We know we are not
perfect, and we don't want others to be perfect either, cause that wouldn't be
fair,would it? Of course no one is perfect. Of course women are mostly aware
of their huge or small boobs, thin or fat legs, there is no need to point out
something to someone, we don't know which battles each person has in its own
private life and how much it costs-and it's not our business. Unless
it's our close friend and we have one and only wish for him: to be perfect and
happy in her/his own terms.
There are women who are naturally thin, and eat more than
our husbands and fathers, so when you point out ''with good intentions'' how thin they are,
you are probably deeply inside insecure or unhappy with your own body. And the
society accepts judging slim figure, cause, well, isn't that a model thing and
what every woman secretly wants? Sorry to disappoint you, but very often, because of
constant pressure and obsession with other women's figure, women with larger breasts
may wish a slim figure with small breasts and vice versa, slim women dream of
Beyonce's body, so how can anyone feel happy in their own body? Let women be
different. Leave your own insecurities to yourself. Do not project your own
body image or personal body needs on other women.
We, women, have suffered so
much because of constant pressure on being beautiful, sexy and what not, and instead
of leaving it to the media and men, we make it all worse by commenting each
other. It is very egocentric to think every body has the same needs and same reactions
to the food and exercising habits as yours. Someone for example gets terrible pimples just
from eating a chocolate, while someone eats junk food and still has a perfect complexion. Someone, somewhere else, dreams about eating spicy food without having any negative consequences. It's the same with everything else.
So before you say to your
friend, colleague, or even think about saying something like: ''You are terribly
thin, don't you eat? / You gained weight a little bit, but that looks ok on you'', ask
yourself: Am I mother of this person/Am I paid to count calories and measure
blood pressure to this person/or...Or am I impolite little snob obsessed with body
image?
Not every person with slim figure counts calories. Not every obese person eats more than you. But if you do, if you count every meal, leave it to
yourself. Once you get comfortable in your own skin, any of this should not concern you. Sadly, some women suffer from the ''false nutritionist'' syndrome until the end of their lives, brainwashing their friends, relatives and everyone around them, causing real problems and serious psychological injuries to healthy people around them.
So stay beautiful and brave while fighting these comments from the jealous and frustrated people and leave the real problems to the professionals. Your body is your own private thing and no one sees it or hears it better than you. Think of this before you comment someone else or when someone approaches it like it's a public toilet. Even if you're beautifully slim. Especially then, because you're the world's favourite target these days. And that is very very sick.
A.B.
Love, Invitation to Inspiration
