MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

Did you buy the same jacket? Cool, it's all fashion anyway. You do your ponytail like that, too? Oh, now we even have the same hair color…Aaaand you just used all my phrases among the group of people as yours. Welcome to the attack of clones. 

Familiar? Well, most girls are into same stuff, since we all fall for the, more or less, same commercial trends. Girlfriends inspire each other - I like your shoes, they would look great with the dress I've bought! - You go buy them, girl! - But clone attacking is more like an interior monkey monologue - Look at her…What else can I take from her to become better…Oh, I’ll take that thing she does with her makeup as my own. -

Who are these people and why do they want to copy other people to the smallest details? Why do we feel rage when noticing these patterns?

Because  we feel observed from the shadow, and then robbed. And before you even notice, there’s another you, with the same jacket, same shoes, same hairstyle. Flattered? Or paranoid maybe? Neither. Plus, your friends thought it was you on those photos. How awkward is that?.

How to defend yourself from the monkeys? Learn this:

1. Their target doesn't have to be anyone special. It could be their new colleague, a new friend, someone who has just entered into their private circle. This person triggers them into changing their own ways. They are easily influenced by anyone and anything, for example, their boyfriends, their ex-boyfriends, their friends, popular trends, their momentary environment.

2. They are not unaware of what they do. They consciously pick up your little habits and ways, and they use what they consider being most interesting and useful for them. They invest their energy into it and drain yours. Of course, we all get influenced by people we are close to and vice versa, but you’ll notice the difference between influencing and imitating. Influencing someone makes you feel valued, while the imitation can make you feel confused, even threatened or irritated. 

3. They speak only of what they’ve heard, using someone's words, phrases, etc.  They have zero inborn originality, so they must steal from the others these unique traits to appear interesting and sympathetic. Opinions, style, taste, manners, etc. That way they can easily go from one extreme to another, completely changing their persona from time to time, in order to adapt themselves to their momentary environment and situation. Notice the difference between healthy change and chameleon change - healthy change is part of the human growth, while chameleon change has nothing to do with the growth and personal development.

4. They may often appear confident, and they try very hard to make this impression on others, but they aren’t confident at all. They appear to have a high opinion of themselves, yet they steal the best of the best from everyone they find appealing and sell these traits as their own.  They are very concerned with being accepted and approved everywhere, by everyone. They crave so hard for the originality and tastefulness that they don’t have, so everything they pick up is more of a caricature of the real thing. Deep down they know this, so they might hate you for being you while hiding their shameful jealousy.

5.  You’re not crazy for feeling bad or for noticing you’re the monkey target. Others may not notice it since it is not about them. Most of the time, when we feel something’s there, it usually is. Nobody knows you and understands you better than you.

The best thing to do in these situations is to stay consistent & distant yourself. Recognize, ignore, and move away. Try not to observe the monkey. Do not jump into conclusions uncarefully and share them with everyone. It is simply not wise and the chances of being misinterpreted as snobbish are high. Leave others to their own conclusions. Monkeys usually get recognized, sooner or later.

Remember that a copy can never last like the original, as it cannot survive without its source. Even long lasting friendships or relationships with the monkeys are almost impossible if you seek the truth and sincerity in it. On the other side, monkeys would do anything to escape the solitude, cause without others, they simply do not exist. And that's all there is.

A.B.

Love, ITI